The Adventures of Kerri & Matt

First Matt chopped the vegetables with a big knife.

This is the scene of the crime.

Then Matt and the Grand Master plotted their next move.

Making a roux needs lots of hands.

Then he cut the cheese.

Here’s some sausage and onions cooking.

This is the almost finished ragu.

There was some leftover zucchini so that got tossed into the sausage.

Here’s the béchamel sauce, Matt always complains how hard it is to make. It didn’t look hard at all.

Then they got drunk.

Then he made a flour volcano.

Then he scrambled an egg in it.

Then he beat the egg with more flour.

Then he beat it with his hands.

Then he beat it with a 3 foot long rolling pin.

Then he wrapped it around the rod and stretched it.

Then he squished and stretched it some more.

Until it was unrecognizably thin.

Then he hacked it into tiny bits.

With an instrument obviously designed for nefarious purposes.

Very nefarious.

Time to fill the nefariously cut pasta with cheese.

Time to mischievously fold the nefarious pasta.

That’s right shifty triangles were formed.

It was a trap. Not triangles at all.

So many miscreant tortelloni were made.

And ravioli.

What’s this? Unfinished cannelloni that’s what.

Don’t forget to boil those lasagne noodles first.

Here’s a North American style lasagne, too much meat.

Here’s the lasagne and cannelloni ready for the oven.

Then Kerri ate all the pasta all by herself. Matt did go to a cooking course. It said nothing about eating.

Bologna had a big archaeology program so they have lots of stuff from Egypt. These jugs are 5500 years old from before the Pharaohs.

This is a board game in the shape of a snake. We don’t know how it was played.

Pharaohs’ tombs seem to always have pictures of giant heaps of food. I think they must have spent the afterlife playing food jenga.

This is the Portal of Userhat. It sounds like it belongs in a video game.

When it rains on a bird standing on the head of a really thin alien wearing a dress, thumbs down.

This is a 3400 year old meter stick. Well, cubit-stick anyway. Maybe it was broken trying to scrape gummy toys off of an ancient classroom ceiling.

I don’t know what is going on here, but I don’t think the cow is having fun.

This is a painting of a fishing cat.

This is an ancient Egyptian selfie station. I didn’t know they had XBOX back then.

This is a mummified ibis.

The Egyptians mummified pretty much everything.

Here are some cats.

And crocodiles.

And fish.

And snakes.

The full grown crocodile is creepy.